Throughout the interview process, I was looking for that intangible and elusive quality of ‘executive presence.’ Which candidate conveys the right amount of confidence and credibility—without being arrogant or egotistical—and will inspire others to follow? Who can best build trust when facing resistance and maintain composure when taking heat from recalcitrant staff? Which candidate could exert influence without direct authority, and work collaboratively across functional groups to create the necessary changes?

One candidate was too meek. Although she had the requisite background, her voice was tentative and halting, and she apologized too much. Another candidate was too brash. He spoke about himself without giving credit to others about past accomplishments. A third candidate was too artificial as if she was on stage and all her answers were rehearsed. The ‘real’ person never came through during the interview, and we didn’t get a sense of the individual’s authenticity. But one candidate stood out from the rest and did possess the ‘executive presence’ that we were looking for. When the interview process was over, this candidate was offered the job.

So what is executive presence and how do you develop it? Sylvia Ann Hewlett, in her recent book, Executive Presence: The Missing Link between Merit and Success, provides the following three dimensions: Gravitas (how you act), Communication (how you speak), and Image (your appearance).

• Gravitas—According to Hewlett, gravitas is the “very essence” of executive presence. It refers to having the ‘depth’ and ‘heft’ to lead others. People with gravitas ‘know their stuff’ and can go ‘six questions deep’ in their knowledge of the subject. At a deeper level, gravitas means to have the courage and confidence to speak the truth to others in power and not be afraid to make difficult decisions. These individuals are able to maintain composure and ‘grace under fire.’ They don’t lose their cool when challenged, and, despite the many obstacles that lie ahead, are able to project an optimistic vision of the future. Above all, gravitas is showing genuine empathy and compassion for others. Good leaders understand how changes will impact the people in the organization and are able to build trust when making tough choices.
• Communication—Perceptions are often formed not by what people say, but how they say it. Of course, the strength and quality of one’s voice—including timbre and pitch—can convey confidence and credibility. More importantly, however, the speaker must be compelling, credible, and concise—not dull, unsubstantiated, and rambling. Do his/her words convey passion about the subject and make a persuasive rationale for change? Individuals with executive presence are skilled at engaging others. They know how to establish a connection with the audience often by telling a personal story and/or asking appropriate questions. They know how to ‘read a room’ and can sense when others have lost interest, are growing resistant, or are ready to move on. They are very good observers and listeners.
• Image—While it may seem superficial, appearance is often the “filter through which gravitas and communication skills are evaluated,” according to Hewlett. I’ve known competent individuals who did not get promoted to senior levels because they weren’t polished or well-groomed, and wore attire that was inappropriate to the environment. Individuals who take pride in how they look and appear ‘well put together’—no matter what their body size or type—convey a sense of discipline, self-control, and resilience. But image is more than just putting on a business suit and dressing like an executive. How comfortable and confident does the individual seem in his/her own skin? Does the person stand tall—not stiff—with a self-assured posture, or are shoulders hunched and arms folded tightly in front of the body in a defensive stance? Does he/she convey a sincere interest in others through a relaxed, genuine smile and proper eye contact or appear distracted, bored, and anxious to end the conversation quickly? Does the individual’s body language and appearance convey energy and enthusiasm or fatigue and stress? Executives are often regarded as the role model for others, and a positive image can convey a sense of security and optimism to those internal and external to the organization.

The bottom line is that executive presence is not about mimicking someone else or assuming a persona of how leaders are supposed to act, sound, and dress. It’s about knowing one’s personal and professional strengths and being comfortable and confident with one’s own identity. People can see through an ‘empty suit’ so being honest, sincere, and authentic is absolutely critical. Executive presence is not about blind conformance to an organizational norm; it’s a way to leverage your own style and talents in leading others to a better future. Like most leadership qualities, executive presence can be developed with feedback, practice, and experience. It may very well be the missing piece to accelerate your career.

As a high-achieving young woman of the 60’s/70’s feminist movement, I always knew that my life would include both a career and a family. I believed that I could juggle a full-time career (with long hours and frequent travel), raise two children, nurture a loving relationship with my spouse, manage the family finances, and maintain the home at the same time. I fully expected my life to also include close friends, lots of recreational activities, and to be a devoted support for aging parents.

So, I learned to be the ‘queen’ of delegation and a master of multi-tasking. I was fortunate to have a supportive husband who would cook dinner, and, when the children were young, we hired a series of nannies to help chauffeur the kids to after-school activities and handle the daily cleaning chores. As a good mother, I managed to attend every back-to-school night, swim meet, soccer game and basketball competition. I planned the family vacations, tended to doctor visits, and ensured that my children received the best educational support possible…all while climbing the corporate ladder.

What I didn’t expect, however, was the level of guilt along the way. At work, I thought that I should be home more; at home, I felt that I needed to be more visible at work. Racing from the office at 5:30 p.m. so that my kids wouldn’t be the last ones picked up at daycare, or sending a not-quite-well child to school because I had a big meeting, I often made decisions that tested my values and questioned whether I was being the best mother that I could be.

As Michelle Obama said, “It’s always guilt-filled. Constant guilt surrounds working women and mothers no matter what you decide to do. No matter what decision you make at any point in time, you feel like you should be doing something more on the other end.”

Often, I wondered why my husband didn’t experience the same level of guilt? Even though we were both breadwinners, I still had the primary responsibility for the family. He was just ‘helping out.’ In fact, 2013 Pew Center research confirms that in dual-income households, mothers spend more time than their fathers on child care and housework.

I also remember being tired…a lot. After a full day at the office, evenings included cleaning dinner dishes, supervising homework, coordinating baths, etc. After checking emails, I would collapse into bed ready to repeat the same routine the next day.

As is often the case, the higher my corporate position rose, the more flexibility and control I gained over my schedule. But there were many trade-offs. Ever conscientious, I spent many weekends and vacations checking email, writing memos, and preparing for the week ahead.

When my high school daughter finally said to me, “I’m not going to sacrifice my life to the corporate world like you did,” I realized that something was amiss. While I loved both my work and my family, I realized that I had to slow down, learn to be more present, and simply enjoy the everyday pleasures of life.

Finally, a life-changing health event re-ordered my priorities, and I began to make some serious life changes. I left my executive position, focused on my health, and began my own coaching and consulting business. While my high-achieving tendencies are still hard-wired, I have consciously reduced the volume and intensity of my work to better enjoy my son’s wedding, get more sleep and exercise, and volunteer my expertise to others. I’m deeply grateful to have that freedom.

Claire Shipman and Katty Kay, in their book Womenomics, indicate that 78 percent of couples in the U.S. are dual-income earners, yet 63 percent of us believe we don’t have enough time for our spouses or partners and 74 percent say we don’t have enough time for our children. While we want to work, 87% of women would like a ‘better balance’ in their lives.

But we all have the same 24 hours in a day, and each person has to find her own way. We want a fulfilling career and to be respected for our accomplishments, but not at the expense of our families and our own well-being.

So how can we learn to slow down, and enjoy the abundance that life has to offer? As Arianna Huffington points out, we can re-define our notion of success. Getting to the corner office may not be all that it’s cracked up to be. Turn ‘inward,’ she says, to determine what you truly value and what will make your life most meaningful.

We can also start by letting go of the self-limiting belief that we’re not doing enough. Perfection is an unachievable goal. We must stop beating ourselves up! Our families will flourish with less stress and more love and acceptance on our part.

Whether your life involves kids, a significant other, aging parents, a cadre of dogs and cats–or all of the above–put down the smart phone and enjoy the moment! Even if just for a short while–stop doing and just be!

This is my Mother’s Day wish…

There are currently 5.2 million Americans with Alzheimer’s, and the projection is that there will be 14 million by the year 2050 with the aging of the baby boom generation. While the cause of Alzheimer’s disease is not clear, there are several chronic conditions that are known to contribute to the disease, many of which are attributed to lifestyle habits. Some of these risk factors include: hypertension, diabetes, obesity, excessive alcohol, and high cholesterol.

As we get older, occasional forgetfulness—or “senior moments”—are normal. If you sometimes forget what you were going to the store for, have trouble finding the right word, or occasionally misplace your keys or wallet, it’s not likely that you have the onset of dementia.

However, according to the Mayo Clinic on Healthy Aging (2013), difficulty remembering familiar tasks, confusion with time and place, problems reading, speaking or writing, and dramatic changes in personality (fearful, anxious, or depressed) could signal something more serious and should be checked out.

So what can you do to keep your brain healthy and your memory sharp as you age? Essentially, many of the same lifestyle habits that keep your body healthy, positively impact your brain as well.

• Get moving—With exercise, blood flow increases throughout the body including your brain. The hippocampus—which plays an important role in memory functioning and is one of the first parts of the brain to suffer damage in Alzheimer’s disease—is highly active during exercise. When neurons rev up, cognitive function improves. Aerobic exercise has actually been shown to reverse hippocampal shrinkage and boost memory.
• Eat well—Diets high in saturated fats and refined sugars have been associated with an increased risk of Alzheimer’s. Healthy brain foods include those rich in: Omega 3 fatty acids (salmon, walnuts, pumpkin seeds, flaxseed), antioxidants (beans, blueberries, cranberries, artichokes), whole grains (oatmeal, quinoa, brown rice), and choline (eggs, beef, cauliflower, tofu, peanuts).
• Sleep—Are you consistently getting 7-8 hours of sleep each night? Sleep is crucial to your brain’s ability to learn and remember. While you sleep, the brain processes information from the day to form memories and helps to make those memories stick so that they can be recalled later.
• Reduce stress—Chronic stress can do damage to the nerve cells of the brain. It can actually reduce the size of the hippocampus and lead to memory impairment.
• Learn something new—Like the muscles in your body, the brain benefits from a good workout as well. According to research on neuroplasticity, our brains can continue to grow and develop new neural pathways throughout our lives—well into our 80’s, 90’s, and beyond—so it’s important to be a continual learner. Try studying a foreign language, playing a musical instrument, cooking a new recipe, taking an art class, or learning tai chi.

So to keep your brain in shape as you get older, stay engaged —both mentally and physically. Eat and sleep well, and manage your stress. A healthy lifestyle can play a big role in keeping the brain’s neurotransmitters firing on all cylinders!

Since then, I thought more about those three qualities. While they may not be the only keys to success, these three certainly apply to success in any organization.

Courage— In most organizations, it takes courage to tackle tough issues, take unpopular stances, and face others when conflicts arise. Success requires taking risks and accomplishing what others may be afraid or reluctant to do. It takes a willingness to push beyond one’s comfort zone and venture into an uncertain or unknown future. Successful executives learn to take educated risks and, more importantly, learn from their mistakes to muster the courage to move forward.

Perseverance—We all experience setbacks in our lives, and these setbacks are often outside of our control. The ability and determination to keep going—despite the disappointment and unanticipated obstacles—can propel executives and their organizations to higher levels of performance. Those that give up when a mishap occurs, and fail to learn from their mistakes, rarely achieve their dreams. Successful people are often characterized as ‘driven’ and keep their eye on a long-term goal.

Optimism—It’s not easy to stay upbeat and positive when things go wrong, yet successful people generally convey an optimism about the future. This does not mean that they are blindly naïve; optimists can continue to recognize and address the realities and potential obstacles in their path. Yet their optimism is contagious and fuels the enthusiasm of others. We prefer to work with people who are upbeat, cheerful, and confident about reaching their goal even if that goal is a daunting one.

So how do you develop these three qualities?

• First, be clear about your goal and what’s important to you. Many of us go through our lives without a specific goal or intention about what we’d like to achieve. How can you be courageous or persevere if you’re not sure where you want to go?
• What are the benefits of achieving the goal? Focus on what can be gained; not what you are afraid to lose. Keep these benefits squarely in mind as you move forward.
• What’s your plan? Are there different alternatives for reaching the goal? How can you test the plan along the way and make mid-course corrections if necessary?
• Look for support. Talk to others about your goal and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Find support from a family member, a friend, a boss, a coach, a teacher, etc. Who can you count on to provide realistic feedback and help anticipate obstacles? Thank them for their assistance and faith in you.
• Rick Hanson, in his book, “Hardwiring our Happiness” says that our brains have a ‘built-in negativity bias.’ Our brains are like “velcro for negative thoughts and teflon for positive thoughts.” So it’s even harder to stay positive when hit with disappointments and setbacks. By focusing on the positives, and refusing to dwell on the negatives, you can develop a more optimistic mindset.
• I often ask, ‘What’s the worst case scenario if you fail?’ Will someone die? Will you go bankrupt? Can you recover and try again? What can be learned from your mistakes?
• Do a reality check. While persevering and focused on the long term, you still need to be well-grounded. How can you handle the critics, skeptics, and naysayers along the way? Have the courage to listen and elicit their support as you move forward.
• Believe in yourself. Our insecurities and self-doubts can undermine our success, and we often stop trusting our abilities. Major league baseball players who bat .300, can still make it to the Hall of Fame. You can strike out and still be successful.
• Reward yourself and others. At key milestones, find a way to celebrate small wins and express your appreciation to others who have supported you. Many high achievers are constantly looking for the next challenge, and often don’t stop to appreciate even small achievements.
• Let go of grudges and regrets. Optimistic people forgive themselves and others. They accept the present and realize that they can’t change the past. Value the gifts that family, friends, and colleagues can offer, and take responsibility for maintaining healthy relationships.

Without a doubt, these tips are easier said than done. But no matter how you define success, developing courage, perseverance, and optimism can help you reach your goals in any organization.

I am honored to speak to all of you today. During the two-and-a-half years as a patient at this hospital, I experienced some outstanding care and also, unfortunately, some that left me feeling very frustrated. I’d like to share a bit of my perspective with you today.

You all know that the people coming to the hospital are at their most vulnerable state—frightened, nervous, and anxious about what’s going to happen to them. They are looking to you—the doctors, the nurses, the guards, the greeters, the transporters, the custodial staff—to care for them and make them better.

While you may be used to working in this environment and seeing people with many difficult and complex conditions, we patients are not. We’re not in our element. I didn’t like having to take a number to be seen like at the motor vehicle administration. I didn’t want to be treated like a number; I wanted to feel like a valued customer in a first-class, world-renown hospital that you are.

I remember the emergency room doctor telling me: “Well I have good news and bad news. The good news is you didn’t have a stroke; the bad news is you have a brain tumor.” I really don’t remember anything else that followed. I couldn’t believe it. There’s some research that says that patients only hear about 10% of what the doctor says after hearing a devastating diagnosis. Thank goodness my husband was there to support me and listen as the doctor relayed what was going to happen next.

But not everyone is so fortunate. English may not be their first language, they may be alone, or they may be so sick or in such pain that they can’t even focus on what you’re saying.

Looking back on my experience, I do remember many wonderful things that people did:

• The greeter at the entrance who smiled on the day of the surgery and remembered my name as I arrived; or
• The transporter who helped me into the wheelchair after my craniotomy and made sure I was warm enough as we made our way to get a CT scan; or
• The physician who finally coordinated the team of doctors to come up with the game plan and included me in the discussion.

But I also remember the not-so-nice things that happened, like:

• Being told that I could be discharged at 10 a.m. and still there at 7 p.m. waiting for all the paperwork to be signed and for a wheelchair that never arrived; or
• Waiting in recovery for 7 ½ hours because no room was available after it was promised three hours earlier—until my husband came in and suddenly a room became ready; or
• The team of residents that entered my room to discuss my case among themselves at bedside, and treated us as if we were invisible.

I realize things don’t always go smoothly and there’s a lot on everyone’s plate, but sometimes a simple apology can go a long way to recover from a bad situation. I truly believe that everyone comes to work wanting to do their best and sometimes there are situations that are just beyond your control. But it’s how you handle those situations when things go wrong that make all the difference in the world to a patient.

Every interaction is an opportunity. If you can listen to patients and find out about their concerns, you can be a healing presence. Are they worried about how they’re going to pay for their medication, or worried about who’s going to take care of them when they get home? Perhaps you can lead them to the right resources.
And if there’s a communication challenge–either the patient can’t or won’t communicate with you–then try to engage their family members. They can be the patient’s best advocate. Family presence in the patient’s room—on a 24/7 basis—can truly contribute to a speedy recovery.

So if you can work in partnership with patients and listen to their concerns, there is evidence that they are more likely to comply with the treatment plan, have better outcomes, reduce readmissions, and even lower costs.
Nothing is more meaningful than helping the sick to get well. Thank you for listening, and thank you for all the important work that you do.

Happy Holidays to you all.

1. Fail to explain the purpose and rationale for the new initiative and withhold information about what will happen. Communicating the reason and benefits of the change is critical for its success. In the absence of communication or if there’s a perception that senior management is not being open and honest about the changes, people will envision the worst case scenario. Clear, accurate, and ongoing communication must be part of any rollout process.
2. Leave out critical stakeholders in planning the development and implementation process. Involving key departments, members of management, and end-users in the development process will help to ensure a common understanding of the goal and enable buy-in to the implementation process. Although this involvement may take longer, it should result in less resistance down the road.
3. Refuse to hire enough or the right people. Do you have the right people with the right skills and abilities to develop and implement the initiative? What skills are missing? Are you aware of people’s strengths and limitations so that the right people are in the right positions to accomplish the tasks? Are the full talents of the organization engaged in the development and roll-out?
4. Fail to establish clear decision rights. With the execution of any strategy or initiative, there are hundreds of decisions that have to be made along the way. Are decisions made at the appropriate level and are the right people given ownership for those decisions without continually being second-guessed? Does the bureaucracy of the organization become an obstacle for efficient execution because there are so many layers of approval required for even small decisions?
5. Turn a deaf ear to problems and just tell the team to “fix it.” With any large-scale initiative, there are invariably unforeseen issues that arise. Is there a culture of full disclosure and transparency so that when problems surface, they can be addressed openly and/or brought to the proper authority for resolution? The team may need management to clear obstacles, resolve demands for competing resources, and encourage greater cooperation.
6. Stay firm on ‘go live’ deadlines no matter what. Sticking to unrealistic deadlines by failing to adapt to new information can be disastrous. It’s a tough judgment call to know when to apply pressure to meet a promised deadline and when to re-negotiate that deadline when unexpected problems arise.
7. Take a hands-off approach to managing the project and avoid getting involved in the details. While no one appreciates a micro-manager, company-wide initiatives require oversight and assurance that key milestones are reached successfully. Team members must also hold each other accountable to see that the project plan is accomplished.
8. When plans go awry, place blame on the vendors or someone lower in the organization. This lack of accountability can derail an initiative before it gets off the ground by destroying morale and team spirit. Scapegoating and ‘making heads roll’ may inhibit creative solutions to problems and disclosure of important information.
9. Block the information flow into and out of the project team. Depending on the size of the initiative and the number of people involved, there are other people/departments that need and want to know what’s happening. How are the right people kept informed along the way and changes communicated?
10. Move on to the next initiative without maintaining the current one. Once an initiative has been implemented, it will likely require maintenance and follow-up to ensure compliance and consistency. Further modifications may be needed. Ongoing monitoring, training, and continuing communication will likely be required to sustain the change.

In a scene from the 1981 movie, Body Heat, Mickey Rourke talks to William Hurt about the things that can go wrong when planning a crime. “You’ve got 50 ways you can screw up. If you think of 25 of them, you’re a genius. And you’re no genius.” Similarly, the entire team rolling out a new program, system, or initiative can’t predict all of the things that can go wrong. Implementing a new healthcare program across an entire nation is an overwhelming endeavor and no ‘genius’ can anticipate all of the problems. Despite a rocky launch, my managed healthcare program from 25 years ago eventually got accepted and stabilized within the subsequent year, and the furor went away. I am optimistic that the healthcare.gov website problems will eventually be resolved as well. Let’s hope the implementers have learned some valuable lessons about successful execution for the future.

Without a doubt, smartphones have revolutionized our lives. My phone is my traveling office. I can be accessible to my clients, family, and friends—anytime, anywhere—and navigate to my destination at the same time. I can use any wait or travel time efficiently to send and receive messages, record appointments, find information, and catch up on the latest news instantly.

We all realize, however, that there’s a huge downside to this marvelous device. As our interactions have become almost completely electronic, the ability to have real, live conversations has diminished. How often have you seen people sitting around a table in a restaurant, not talking but texting on their phones? In business meetings, I can tell when people have checked out, as they’re eyes turn downward to their laps, reading their emails. When I stop for a red light at a major intersection, I frequently see drivers on their phones unaware that the light has turned green. And haven’t you witnessed pedestrians absorbed with their phones, step off the curb to cross the street, oblivious to oncoming traffic? Our obsession with multi-tasking on our smartphones, and the resulting lack of mindfulness of the present moment, has definitely taken control of our lives.

So what do we do?

• Like any addiction, we first need to raise our awareness and recognize that this is a problem. There have been new laws prohibiting texting and driving but this is only part of the issue. We may refrain from texting and driving, but our phones are never far away.
• Establish no phone zones. For me, the bedroom is off-limits and shutting down my phone is a pre-bedtime ritual. I do not want the beeping or light to wake me up at night. However, I know I’m not the only one to text while I’m in the bathroom!
• Encourage real conversation. There was a recent NY Times article about ‘phone stacking.’ When friends go out to a restaurant, they put their phones in a pile in the center of the table at the beginning of the meal. If anyone reaches for his/her phone during dinner, he/she must pick up the tab for everyone.
• Find times to unplug. Taking a break from technology—even for a brief period—is a great way to re-charge your own batteries. Go for a walk. Stretch your muscles. Tony Schwartz, author of The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, says the best way to gain productivity and avoid burnout is to recover your energy by taking a break from constant mental activity about every 90 to 120 minutes.
• Avoid multi-tasking. The research has shown that productivity is actually diminished by focusing on multiple things at once. When you’re at work, it’s easy to get distracted by checking emails every few minutes. Put the phone away so you can focus on the task at hand.
• Get support. I tell friends, family members, and colleagues, please don’t send me emails/texts—or play Words with Friends—after 10 a.m. at night. Unless it’s an emergency, I won’t be responding. For family members, agree to turn off the phones during a specific time period in the evening so that you can talk without distraction.
• Like recovering addicts, when you fall off the wagon, just get back on again. If you see someone pull out the phone at dinner or in a meeting, don’t get angry. Just remind him/her of the agreement and help get them back on track.

Try one or two of these tips for a couple of weeks and see how they work. Addictions are difficult to break. And this one is particularly hard when there is pressure to constantly be available to others 24/7.

Amazingly, someone found my daughter’s cell phone and returned it to her. Utter relief and gratitude! And the obsession has resumed….

1. First, discover your passion. Are you passionate about what you do? Are you excited by your chosen field of endeavor? Some people chose a major in college or pursued a career because of pressure from their parents or societal norms. While others may not have even made a conscious decision about their career; they were offered a job, took it, and inertia took over. If your current job doesn’t excite you or pique your interest, then what does? What are you curious about and eager to learn more? If money were not a factor, what would you really love to do? What kind of work would offer deeper meaning to you?
2. Second, examine your values. What’s really important to you? Family? Flexibility? Money? Status? All of the above? What happens when these come into conflict and which values get compromised? When your values are in conflict, you can choose to act in alignment with what’s most important or choose not to. If you say family is important, do you work every evening and weekend instead of spending time with the children? If your current job causes you to be at odds with your values, then it may be time to re-evaluate your choices.
3. Next, identify your strengths. What are you really good at? Sometimes, people don’t recognize or value their strengths because they come so naturally or because they are not appreciated in the current job. For example, are you skilled at dealing with different personalities and handling conflict? Are you detail-oriented and can easily find discrepancies in work products? Are you good at coordinating and organizing large groups of people? Look for jobs that would be the best fit for these kind of skills. For those areas that are not strengths, are there other people with complementary skills that can help? If a particular skill is critical to your career goal, can you learn it through additional training and/or practice?
4. Learn the Business. Research has shown that successful executives worked in various parts of the business throughout their careers—both staff and line positions. Through experience, they gained breadth and depth about how the business works. Don’t be afraid to move laterally—or even down—to learn about another part of the business that intrigues you. Often, if you move to another position in a new department, you can negotiate to maintain your salary.
5. Be your own self-advocate. Communicate your career goals to your manager and any others who may be able to influence it. Let them know that you are interested in other opportunities. Don’t wait for someone to tap you on the shoulder to apply for a position. To learn more about other possible opportunities, conduct some informational interviews and express your interest. Show initiative by volunteering for challenging stretch assignments. Offer to provide a service or complete a task that is above and beyond your current responsibilities. If you feel that you have been overlooked for a promotion, speak up and state that you would like to be considered the next time. Don’t whine and complain; suggest a way in which the selection process might be made more transparent in the future. If you believe that some discriminatory behavior exists, seek the counsel of HR or a trusted member of management.
6. Cultivate sponsors as well as mentors. While mentors are important, a sponsor can actually become your champion and open opportunities for you. How do you find mentors and sponsors? Obviously, a solid track record of outstanding performance is key. Your exceptional performance and willingness to take on additional responsibilities should help distinguish you from the crowd. You also need to make others—particularly your boss—look good. A sponsor will nominate you for positions if you can be relied on to perform at an outstanding level and make him/her look good.
7. Build Relationships. When you are considered for promotion, do you have organizational support? What would others say about you as a colleague, a team player, a leader? Likeability is an important intangible quality. While everyone in the organization is not necessarily your close friend, have their experiences with you been consistently positive? Do you spend all of your time in your office, working through lunch, and avoiding others to get your work done? If so, you’re probably not getting to know many co-workers, and they’re not getting to know you.
8. Above all, believe in yourself. The biggest barrier to career advancement is not being confident about your own worth and the skills, knowledge, and experience that you have gained. Women, in particular, have suffered from ‘imposter syndrome,’ fearful that others will find out that they’re not as skilled as they thought. This lack of confidence can sabotage careers by being unwilling to take on challenging assignments, by rejecting offers for lead roles on special projects, and by ongoing thoughts of self-doubt. Remember, perfection is an illusion. Everyone makes mistakes; it’s what you learn from them that is important.

Finally, be careful what you wish for. Often, the goal of earning a lot more money doesn’t bring the meaning and fulfillment from work that you seek. You may gain a deeper sense of well-being in your career if you are pursuing your true purpose or calling and living your life in alignment with what you value most.

• Heart disease and stroke,
• Certain types of cancer (e.g., colon, breast, and endometrium),
• Diabetes,
• Osteoporosis,
• Arthritis,
• Falls and other accidents,
• Depression and anxiety,
• Alzheimer’s disease, and
• Infections.

So if we know this, why is it so hard to fit regular exercise—or even just moving our bodies—into our lives? No time? No energy? Too tired? Too painful? Not motivated? All of the above?

So what can you do? Here are a few suggestions:

1. Are You Ready to Start? We may talk about needing to exercise, but, in truth, we may not be really ready to make a commitment to change. Change takes effort and can be uncomfortable for a while. If you’re still contemplating the idea of exercising, think about what’s holding you back. Are there ‘rewards’ for staying sedentary (e.g., I get to spend more time with my family when I get home)? Are there reasons why you avoid exercising (e.g., People will see how uncoordinated and un-athletic I am)? Talking this through with a non-judgmental friend or coach can help you get started.

2. What Motivates You? What has motivated you in the past? Have you ever participated in some physical activity earlier in life? What made you successful? Some people enjoy the camaraderie of a team and the spirit of competition. Others like solitude and experiencing the beauty of nature. Discovering what motivates you is key to choosing the right activity that will work for you. For example, if you want to spend more time with friends or family, can you involve them in your exercise program? Can you walk and talk together at the same time? If doing new things is important, vary the type of activities so that you don’t get bored. If your goal is to calm down and de-stress, perhaps a yoga class can help.

3. Speak to your Health Care Provider. Even people with chronic medical conditions and disabilities need exercise. Find out what you can do without aggravating an existing medical condition. Can you throw a beach ball? Can you flex and point your toes? Can you relax and stretch your neck and shoulder muscles? Would physical therapy help?

4. Begin Gradually. Many people start an exercise program with a gung-ho attitude and overdo it the first time out of the gate. Weekend warriors—who have been sitting at their desks all week—play a pick-up game of basketball and end up rupturing an Achilles tendon. Muscle soreness, excessive fatigue, and injury can stop the positive momentum. If you haven’t exercised in a while, start with five minutes of walking and increase the time or intensity gradually. Include some gentle stretching before and after.

5. Equip Yourself. Obtain the right shoes, clothing, and/or equipment for your activity. While walking doesn’t require a great deal of equipment, it does require the right pair of shoes to avoid pain and a host of other problems. Once I was experiencing shin splints after jogging before realizing that my shoes were worn out and no longer provided adequate support.

6. Schedule It. Integrate your activity into your daily routine and put it on your daily calendar. If you can’t find a whole hour to be at the gym or don’t have the money for a personal trainer, you can find some sort of physical activity during a typical day. Whether it’s walking up a flight of stairs instead of taking the elevator, or doing some gentle yoga stretches at the end of the day, moving your body daily will soon become like brushing your teeth. If your routine changes and you can’t exercise one day, don’t stress about it; just get back on track the next day. Many people are now finding apps on their smart phones and other devices (e.g., pedometer) to help achieve consistency and monitor their progress on a daily basis.

For me, a structured activity has typically worked best. If I know that I have to be at a class or work out with a trainer at a specific time, I schedule it on my calendar just like any other appointment. Even if I’m tired, stressed, and not motivated to exercise, my trainer pushes me through the workout, and I always feel better afterwards—less tired, less stressed, and more motivated to return. So figure out what works best for you and know that you’re making a positive move for a healthier life!

One particular boss—who I will refer to as Tom—was a truly authentic leader and demonstrated many qualities that made him effective within the business. Upon reflection, here’s what I remember most:

• Self-Awareness—Tom knew what he was good at and what he wasn’t. He surrounded himself with others that complemented his skillset so that, together, we made a great team. He was open and honest about his strengths and limitations and was not afraid to talk about these with his staff. His willingness to share this self-knowledge enabled us to work even harder so that we could all be successful.
• Willingness to Show Vulnerability—As a corollary to his self-awareness, Tom was not afraid to admit that he was struggling with an issue or that he had made a mistake. He was not afraid to appear ‘weak,’ and used these admissions as opportunities for learning and growth. This allowed those of us on his team to take prudent risks, and, as long as we admitted, corrected, and learned from our mistakes, we would not incur the wrath of a reprimand or a performance review that haunted us forever. This is not to say that Tom sugar-coated any of his own shortcomings or those of others. We knew where we stood at all times.
• Alignment of His Private Face & Public Face—Tom was genuine. What he said in private to his direct reports, he articulated in public to the larger organization. This engendered trust throughout the team. We knew that he said what he truly believed and did not just convey the ‘party line’ to be politically correct.
• In Control of One’s Ego—While Tom was certainly aspirational in his own career, he focused more on the goals of the business than his own self-interest. He did not talk about his own power, money, or status within the organization; rather he emphasized the business results that we needed to achieve and everyone’s role in reaching them. He realized that leaders accomplish very few business results through their own individual efforts. To use a well-worn phrase, ‘it takes a village’ to achieve the organization’s success. He freely gave acknowledgement and credit to others publicly and often.
• Connecting with the Heart—Tom knew that he had to win the hearts, as well as the minds, of his organization. He was not afraid to show emotion—and even cried at times—to demonstrate the depth of his feelings. This was not seen as a weakness but demonstrated his ‘human-ness’ to others. It made us closer as a team and more compassionate towards our colleagues. We knew that he cared about us, and that made us care about Tom as our leader and about the success of the business.

Working for an authentic leader like Tom enabled me to become a more effective executive. As I have told managers many times, “It’s not so much what you say or do that people remember; it’s how you made them feel.” Authentic leaders make others feel appreciated, respected, and motivated to do their best work. Isn’t that what we all want in the long run?